JOKES +(updated weekly)

FOR FRIDAY August 29, 2014

 

Good Friday Morning,

This Weeks Jukebox some Pop Oldies from the 1950ís

http://jhurray.com/mp3/jukebox.htm

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This Weeks Funny Graphics

http://jhurray.com/HTML/PictureBonus.htm

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Thanks Mark

"Chattanooga Choo-Choo"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRCggFpr9qI

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The Man Poster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8k20kHZjug

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Thanks Jack

WITCH DOCTOR (David Seville) 1958 original version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmjrTcYMqBM

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Sheb Wooley - Purple People Eater (1958)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9H_cI_WCnE

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Thanks You Make Me Laugh

Manual Typewriter

The boys had been up in the attic together helping with some cleaning. The kids uncovered an old manual typewriter and asked her, "Hey, Mom, what's this?"

"Oh, that's an old typewriter," she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity.

"Well, what does it do?" they queried.

"I'll show you," their mother said. She went downstairs and returned with a blank piece of paper. She rolled the paper into the typewriter and began striking the keys, leaving black letters of print on the page.

"WOW!" the boys exclaimed, "That's really cool -- but how does it work like that? Where do you plug it in?"

"There is no plug," she answered. "It doesn't need a plug."

"Then where do you put the batteries?" they persisted.

"It doesn't need batteries either," she continued.

"Wow! This is so cool!" the brothers exclaimed. "Someone should have invented this a long time ago!"

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Thanks Thomas Ellsworth

College Future

A mother and father were chatting with their eight-year-old son about his future. The youngster said he'd like to attend Cornell, as his parents and other members of the family had.

Pleased with his response, they pressed on. "What would you like to take when you attend college?" they asked the little boy.

After giving it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, he replied, "The refrigerator, if you can get along without it."

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Six Truths of Life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time; it's a physical impossibility.

2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.

3. And discover #1 is a lie.

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.

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Thanks Steve Just For Grins

A Good Woman

A husband and wife had a human cannonball act in the circus.

One day the wife ran off with the lion tamer, leaving the husband extremely dejected.

The strong man asked him what he was going to do.

The husband answered, this is a disaster. I donít know where Iím going to find another woman of her caliber.

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Direct Object

Teacher to class: "Give me a sentence with a direct object."

Student: "Everybody thinks our teacher is beautiful."

Teacher: "Why, thank you. But what is the direct object?"

Student: "A good report card."

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Sound Reasoning

As a 7th grade biology teacher, I was teaching my class about the flow of blood in the body.

After my lecture I asked the class the following: ?Why is it that if I would turn upside down, my face would turn red since the blood would flow to my head, but when I stand upright my feet donít turn red??

I was taken aback when a boy blurted out, thatís cuz your feet ain't empty

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Thanks Good Clean Funnies

Higher Power

A Sunday school teacher said to the children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

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